hollaback_
Sunday, April 23, 2006
the sound on my computer is down, and that means all my downloaded episodes cannot be played, since i would be watching a mute performance. neither can i listen to music! i have taken to transferring them to my handphone for perusal - yes i am that desperate. (ipod's not being used cos it's a bit screwy, and thinking of upgrading from a mini to a video soon anyway)
but you know, i don't really feel that bad that i'm missing the shows. in the past, i would have. but right now i'm really blase about it. i couldn't care less and i'm just happy that i have the opportunity to sit here and feel my fingers against the black, squarish keys. i guess that tells you how much i care about things in general these days.
tomorrow, i will begin to go back for physical training after being excused the past week or so. on one hand, i dread it greatly. especially since i'm behind everyone else. on the other hand, i hope to goodness it'll be useful and i can fucking book out early and book in late instead of the other damned way round.
fulfill their shitty criteria.
mike just took up your time at
7:08 pm
Saturday, April 22, 2006
because something has just happened to make me extremely upset, i shall come up with a meaningless musing that has absolutely nothing to do with, and is far from the matter that's bugging me.
i shall dissect lyrics from boyband songs! tearing them down in their inanity, proving to the world why they are an almost extinct breed. (damn those cockroaches!)
(taken from
as long as you love me, by backstreet boys)
I don't care who you are Where you're from What you did As long as you love methis makes no sense to me at all. because for people as popular as them (or at least during their heyday), they would have LOTS of people who loved them. are they supposed to get into polygamous relationships with every single one of them?
besides that, this reeks of desperation. is one to accept any tom, dick, and harry that comes along? (insert female equivalents for male readers, since the only one i can think of is harriet.) i would definitely give a damn about what kind of person my partner is. would you love a pus pool? i don't think i could. neither could i accept a bigot. there is definitely something wrong with this song and if anyone should croon this tune to you, you might want to evaluate your self-worth since s/he might be doing it wrong.
next up, i feel bad doing this to savage garden because they're not really a boyband per se, and their songs are usually much more decent. but this line really bugs me!
I knew I loved you before I met youi've got a simple question. how do you love someone/something that you don't even know exists? this baffles me. unless we take it to be literal, meaning that you might like an online friend (heh..) and fall in love even before seeing each other in a real setting. or the first "you" might be in reference to an idealised concept of a lover, which has been actualised and manifested in the second "you".
ok i take this way too seriously. but this immersion in frivolity is good for distraction.
mike just took up your time at
6:24 pm
Saturday, April 15, 2006
could you please just leave. nothing's ever good with you around.
and i found the cause, though i'm not exactly sure how to explain its occurence. this is mortifying, yet strangely satisfying to pinpoint. i hope i am not ruined.
mike just took up your time at
2:42 am
Friday, April 14, 2006
i think i'm almost in the clear, which is good. i don't like living with the threat of death hanging over my head. the saying goes, "to live each day as though it were your last". but i think i would rather live each day knowing hell yeah i'm going to live to a robust old age as a hearty senior citizen and die of natural causes in my golden years. but that's just me.
life should be looking better. and i stress,
should. because after having a sobering wake-up call to the frailties of human life, one goes back into the mire. and it's hard to stay positive when there's so much negativity surrounding this place. where falling out because of any reason whatsoever is met with an instantaneous
chaokeng! because either 1. people're jealous that they can't slack as well (case in point : someone who immediately told the Medical Officer the moment he saw him that he had "muscle inflammations", which was something someone else was
diagnosed with just 2 days ago, for real. no one speaks like that in normal, everyday slang. least of all someone who isn't good in english -
weird bugs is cheem angmoh!) due to their ineptitude in such tactical manoeuvres of malingering. or because 2. people are just too stupid to believe that injuries or illnesses can be legitimate.
oh, and superiors whose first thought is that one fails a test on purpose just so that one can attend to more urgent, life-threatening matters outside of an artificially stiff environment. granted, a rafflesian shouldn't fail a stupid test but neither would a rafflesian fail a test on purpose, intellectual pursuit and academic excellence and all that jazz. (not studying is one thing, studying and intentionally underperforming is another which i doubt any rafflesian with any pride would ever get down to) just wonderfully positive, it is!
and so, i was complaining about this to my mother the other day whilst we were having lunch. i was in my uniform, and my wild gesticulating induced by hysteria at the aforementioned superior's accusations on personal integrity caused a mishap with a cup of iced milo. then the most bizarre thing happened. a man who was walking by at that moment stopped, leaned in and over, looked me in the face, and pointed out in a highly grave tone,
"boy, you have dirtied your uniform."
NO SHIT !!!! he pointed out the most OBVIOUS thing, as if the useless breath of one-liner could dry my pants, or worse still, as if i couldn't feel the sinking, soaking feeling seeping through my (thankfully) camouflaged pants. in such a ridiculous moment of absurdity, i could only mutter "i know" because the situation left me utterly flabbergasted. i didn't see what the point of that was, maybe he thought his older man eyes were sharper and keener than my National Slave eyes, and if i am blind to the brown stains i must have lost my sense of smell and sense of touch as well. (not an utter impossibility considering the noxious fumes i inhale everyday) ugh. but the fact that i wear that getup means i'm supposed to be the bastion of integrity and honour, as some sort of ambassador to
that organisation, that i'm supposed to treat any civilian with respect and dignity, shut me up.
but really, people should learn to reign in advice or help sometimes because well-meaning or not, it could be very much unnecessary and unappreciated. as the chinese saying goes,
yuebangyuemang.
mike just took up your time at
12:10 pm
Sunday, April 09, 2006
if i died tomorrow or next month, how many people would feel sad? how many people would even care. who would miss me, and what would my funeral be like? will i be the talking point of mouths that are bored for the next month before the next unexpected young death?
i may be dead soon, and nothing about this is a joke.
mike just took up your time at
11:50 am
i definitely espouse healthy eating, if it's as delicious as this! cereal, bananas and raisins. wouldn't mind being a vegetarian if vegan meals were all so scrumptiously tasty. this is the kind of thing i get up to on a boring, cold, sunday morning. experimentation! (not that sort, of course.)
yumyumif anyone's even remotely wondering what the fuck i'm doing with my life these days, then click on the link, here.
yeah, the sole picture provided doesn't do much justice to that beastly behemoth. so maybe this might be better. i'm just surprised there's so much information readily available on the web. and they tell us that we can't take the manual out cos it's restricted. gee.
and i've gotten a new phone! specifically for use in the army, since it has no camera. i had a non-camera one but it was really old and the keypad was getting cranky. it was the one where the top could be flipped open to reveal a keyboard. and when you have to rely on that half the time it gets really annoying. especially when you're in a rush. so i love this one cos it's not only a slim candybar, unlike the previous chunky one, but it's also got this nice feel to it. the back feels like car leather. lol! and the best thing was that it cost nothing at all since my brother had to renew his plan so we decided to conveniently procure a new phone at the same time. the games look decent, and it has bluetooth which is VERY important. no radio, which is a bit of a downside but ultimately i love it!
waiting for university application results is nerve-wracking. i really don't know what i'd do if i don't make it to that course. i suppose there are paths aplenty that one can take, but that one seems the most alluring at the moment. and it would be nice to know that one has something to look forward to after all this surrealism.
life is getting better, i could get used to this i think. i'm just not very sure what i'll be at the end of the day.
mike just took up your time at
7:12 am
Sunday, April 02, 2006
on a very trivial and superficial note, i find it so fucking annoying that i'm losing my precious tan! the one that i cultivated so lovingly during BMT. the very nature of my job in the army now dictates that for the most part, i will be lovingly surrounded by all sorts of machinery in a little compartment, fighting off claustrophobia desperately, chugging along happily safe and snug, in a closed hatch hidden away from glorious, glowing sunlight UV rays!
and it had to come when my hair's growing back. so i either have no hair, with a tan. or hair, with no tan. can't have one's cake and eat it as well. this is making me one very unhappy boy indeed.
ah well. my job's really slack and stressful at the same time. that's highly paradoxical, but i kid you not. transporting people in an armoured personnel carrier's about the only thing i do. but at the same time the lives of 10, 11 people are in my hot little hands. and it's too heavy a responsibility that i don't enjoy carrying as a burden.
my life is now at a standstill.
mike just took up your time at
7:58 pm
Saturday, April 01, 2006
i find that these days, i don't even like to blogsurf that much anymore. long chunks of words put me off, unless they're written by me. i skip and hop to various online journals to merely skim through the lives of others who are all cut off from me. just to get a gist, a gist. that's really all that's important nowadays.
my life is void.
mike just took up your time at
6:51 pm
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