mike
ex-raffles
7mar87

histerialane follows the desperation of a fledgling soldier in an offbeat style similar to Desperate Housewives.




prom photos, up almost 2 months after the event - but up nevertheless. enjoy the hot babes and hunks and feel free to edit me out!

hollaback_

Monday, December 26, 2005

mike just took up your time at 3:31 pm

Sunday, December 25, 2005
Christmas was spent with bern and hadri, who were at my house at different times. we mostly lazed about, watching TV. feels different this year, almost as if there was no Christmas. since there was no gradual buildup, no anticipation of festivities. they don't play carols in the cookhouse, all you hear are people singing shouting "same old shit again" as they march past. (whenever that line comes about before meal times, i substitute the word "shit" with "food". it's quite interchangeable.)

i guess it's also because there's no special someone to share it with. when someone wishes me "merry christmas" or "blessed christmas", i wish they'd change it to "unlonely christmas" instead. it doesn't quite have the same ring to it as the former two have, but that's what's most important. i realise over the years i've craved less and less for actual materialistic presents (which i wouldn't mind though) but longed for companionship instead. mind you, not merely that of lovers, but just amongst friends and family too. which is why i didn't really kick up a fuss when my dad didn't get anything for me, cos he said "i don't know what to get you also". which is a pretty wise move, cos if you ask me i don't really know what i want either. all i want for Christmas is the elusive and universal you everyone longs for.

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what can i say about that damned island? if you asked me, i'd probably give you a candid account. but i understand the dangers of an anonymous audience here. so maybe i should just share my thoughts and feelings and how it's impacted me rather than the actual happenings.

i'm darker now, which i'm immensely thankful for. the prom pictures scare me because every shot reminds me again and again that i was damn bloody pale before. and that's pretty gross. but i have a healthy tan now! my tanlines include a spectacles tanline as well as a "sports bra" one that arises from wearing singlets during training.

the coarse language didn't come as a culture shock to me. i was absolutely blase about it besides the fact that i'm amused at the way certain people think it induces respect. however, the smoking was the greatest culture shock for me. i thought it was banned, apparently not. why can't they invest in nicotine patches? it does seem that quite a portion of the Budget is allocated to these shenanigans. so it wouldn't hurt, would it?

honestly, i don't think the physical things matter ultimately. mind over matter. tangible things are easily overcome. it's the mental. the psychological barrage one is under everyday. it's very taxing and if anything, that would be the only reason for me throwing in the towel short of breaking a leg. putting up with people 24/7 is a tiring job. if one doesn't even get along fabulously with family that one doesn't even see all the time anyway, how is one to get along with people one has barely known?

perhaps the most humbling experience one can undergo is losing one's hair. i now understand how important hair is (and will start styling it once i am allowed to grow it back, as i now have newfound respect for it) as a facet of one's identity. without it, everyone looks the same. (i just look like chicken little.) and it's hard to tell people apart. i never paid that much notice to it, but it is essential. now i know why men find balding such a shameful thing to undergo.

i miss homecooked food because my mother doesn't ask me how her cooking is, and even if she does she won't ask me to change my answer if i tell her it's terrible. (that's not a problem though since it doesn't suck anyway)

it's going to be a long, long journey. (then again, that was what i thought by april of j1.)

time goes by so slowly
are you ready to jump?
mike just took up your time at 10:50 pm


i tried uploading my prom photos on flickr, but for some reason it insists on showing the photos in reverse chronological order despite the many rearrangements and edits i have enforced onto it. oh well. maybe i'll fix that some other time. meanwhile, i'll just post up some of the pics where i look better/that i like.

yonghui when she's not in her usual drab PE clothes.

one of those pictures where everyone looks good. nicole and i.

bing and me. identical shirts omfg!!

i look really happy here. with grace.

mel and i. one of those people i've known for eternity.

i look really happy here too. with fairuz.

CUS!! good times. hoho

a sizable proportion of the class, including mr tay.

shirin and i. i hope Nasty skips this picture if she reads this entry.

abigail. one of the few full-length shots i have. unfortunately, it wasn't taken with flash. fortunately, it makes me look darker.
two people with two very nice smiles. =) derrick and i.

another failed attempt at getting a full class photo. but i think we got all the girls this time at least.

eugene loves this photo =P

mike just took up your time at 12:41 pm


a while back, some people were screwed for posting up pictures of army training online on their blogs. therefore, i need to think it over before i blog about my experience over the first 2 weeks. you never know who's reading.

prom pics are still not uploaded, but will be done before the year is out.

and Narnia was ok, not too bad.

shall update more soon.
mike just took up your time at 3:05 am

Friday, December 23, 2005
edit : i just listened to Jump, and i feel better now.

i've just returned from camp, and have discovered an interesting trade-off.

i feel macho, but i no longer feel that excited listening to Madge. i'm not sure what to think about that.
mike just took up your time at 9:41 pm

Friday, December 09, 2005
by the time you read this, i'll be on tekong.

(you know, i always wanted to do one of those "message from the dead" things but at least this isn't as morbid, and God willing, i will return safe and sound.)

i must say i've got really conflicting feelings about this. in the days leading up to enlistment conscription i've alternated between feeling excited about this new chapter of my life, and wishing i was a girl. my timeslot has no one i know going in, even after asking around. so it's good since i'll be knowing people outside the rafflesian circle (at last), and even if they're rafflesians i probably wouldn't know them. on the other hand it's quite intimidating. reminds me a bit of survivor where you need to form alliances quickly.

i'm glad i'm going in early because i don't need to plan out my days, and won't be wasting much time. there's not much you can complete in a couple of weeks. not a real job, or internship. just a lot of bumming around. but this is a bit too early. it's like 2 days after prom and it really isn't easy to be positive when you're inundated with feelings of regret, nostalgia, ennui and emptiness. well hopefully the emptiness will be filled by something then. just hope i don't turn back into a pledge-spouting, anthem-singing musclejock. (wouldn't mind the later part.)

thanks for all the goodluck messages and well wishes. i really need it. if you told me to take NAPFA now, i'd really be justifying my early presence in camp. it's that bad. well, at least the consequences of a sedentary lifestyle are finally catching up with me and the most important thing's that it's not fatal.

i hope i don't die. i'm not afraid of the ghost stories, or being posessed or any of those other nonsensical stuff you hear/read about. i'm more afraid of the real things. things that we know for sure are definitely bigger problems, not the possibility of the supernatural. anyway the place is new and renovated so they probably exhumed all the spirits already. it's just the things like. not being able to fit in. getting picked on by the officer. freak accidents while exercising/on exercises. realising it's terrible despite valiantly keeping up an optimistic outlook. (happened the past 2 years) i know all things come to pass, but before they do we have to experience them first.

going into the army is like putting life on hold. you're stuck inside, and the world goes on outside. the girl friends go into university, the brother and cousins grow up.. and what about oneself? metamorphosis? is that what you call it? quite an apt metaphor when you think about it. boys, grubby and gross. turning into men, mellowing with age and with the ability to fly off and take on the world. i think i should take a photo of me and the family before going in. it just feels weird to be in a sort of stasis, to be getting older yet not really. it's borrowing time yet stealing it from us all at once.

i'm so sorry i won't be able to post the prom pics until quite some time later. it took me some time just renaming them, uploading them online will take an even longer time. which is not a luxury for me right now. this entry was created hours before the publishing time (which is supposed to be my enlistment time), and i haven't even packed yet. so i'm pretty screwed in that sense. i really must get rid of this habit of procrastination and doing things last minute.

thanks for reading and i'll definitely be back to update. just don't expect any within the next 2 weeks at the very least. =)
mike just took up your time at 12:45 pm

Thursday, December 08, 2005
Samba de Amigos. i don't know where the dancing was besides matin's over the top provocative performance and the other dance king/queen nominees', so that sure was a strange theme. the funny thing about the singaporean imported version of prom is that there's no date for the night. if there were, i think council would have to be prepared to make a loss. that said, it was a flurry, flighty mess of affairs for me. oh and randomly, i think my second favourite colour now is red. i realise i have quite a number of red things. as brian would say, i sure am in the Christmas mood. and it's a good thing i didn't accept him on his $100 dare to wear a star on my head the whole night.

timeline

1525 : in town, had just collected my shirt.

1630 : after much searching and buying of other stuff, found a saloon in Far East.

1735 : finally done my hair, mad rush home via taxi. fuck you, taxi driver for going via the normal roads instead of the ECP. fuck you, fuck you and i hope your tire goes flat one day and you swerve into a tree and die.

1805 : wtf am i doing here when the ticket says to be there in 10 minutes time!?

1830 : matthew drops by in a taxi because i know he was the only other soul in the East planning to be late

1855 : arrive at the Ritz, joshua picks me up at the lobby so that he can keycard-lift me up to his class suite for me to dump my stuff in. speaking of which, the keycard thing is DAMN annoying. great for security, but not good for events with mass movements of people.

1905 : head downstairs, and it all begins.

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thanks to my idiocy, i arrived much later than i should have and i didn't get to take as many photos as i would have liked to. i missed out some people, and didn't even get to see them that night. apparently they were there, but the place was just too big, crowded and messy i guess. and it's also harder to bump into someone if both of you are moving about at the same time. but i got photos with the more important people that mattered, so that's good. ok not really, i missed out one there but i didn't want to miss that person out. unfortunately due to complications i had to.

didn't really eat my food. i did for the first few courses, and then came back at intermittant intervals to grab a few bites here or there. anyway it wasn't fantastic fare. such as the soup. i was wondering where the vinegar was when i realised that it wasn't really shark's fin. nice chicken, nice fish. didn't eat the noodles. the "desert" was cold and cummy.

hmm, and i was quite flabbergasted to see my shirt appearing so often. i saw it on 3 other guys, one of which was bing who was at my table haha. talk about embarrassing. but at least it's a nice shirt, and it looks good. so much for being unique. i guess that's where my hair came in. happy that it was money quite well spent, since everyone thought it was nice.

matin didn't wear his kilt as promised, so there weren't really that many interesting getups on guys that i can remember. eugene's turtleneck was a bit different. and i think dyed hair should be done in moderation, not excess but that's just me. as for the girls, hoho. some girls looked much more stunning than they usually do in normal life. yonghui in a gown was fabulous. on the other hand, some of the other girls didn't look that good. i saw quite a number of boots and i'm sorry, but the first thing that i think of when i see boots is patriciamok-ahlian. very few people can carry off boots properly and with style. there were also some really trampy dresses, some very aunty-having-high-tea-at-fullerton people, and even a blast from the past back to the Victorian age! thank goodness for being a guy, it's much harder to go wrong.

the emcee was annoying. don't you find it funny how they all have that same, generic, host-y voice? his booming voice "livened" the event but got rather grating after awhile. and bena going on stage was damn funny. oh and i liked some of the performances in particular..

i must say that RJ's prom was more fun than the grad night at RI, in a vacuous, superficial way. i look better in pics this time, and i took more. and i like taking photos with girls cos of all the interesting stuff they wear. and there was a girl who wore a suit! joshua's classmate. but she refused to take a picture with me. oh well. ay but RI post events were much more fun, cos i had a room then. this time around it was just cubbing at DXO which in a way was even worse than the one at chinablack cos it was ladies' night and the podium wasn't open to guys and hence the space wasn't properly utilised, making the dancefloor extremely squeezy. i have a blister now. and they closed at 3 which was retarded, and i daresay the music was worse this time around cos there definitely was no Hung Up. i'm still waiting for the day to shake my booty to a madonna song!

took a cab home, got back about 430 and woke up past 12. there's just something very sad about it all. i can't really put my finger on it but it's very depressing. after the high feelings die down, what is there left? a quiet, dark, noiseless house. i always feel that way after getting home late from something exciting. just like after all the drama performances and the PostProductionDinners. and it's even worse then cos there are flowers, which are physical manifestations of a short-lived, wilting beauty. at least after prom you just need to strip, and you won't be reminded constantly everyday of a glory that once was as the flowers painfully die a slow death.

i'll try to upload the pictures, for everyone's easy reference. especially since i won't be online soon to send pictures around. but aiya damn wasted la, could have taken more. remind me not to be late for my University prom, ok?
mike just took up your time at 3:35 pm

Wednesday, December 07, 2005
you know, when i had a dream months ago about the school prom being held malay void deck wedding style, and me wondering around aimlessly despite the nagging knowledge in my head that i hadn't gotten an outfit, it didn't occur to me that it would be an actual portent of things to come. the hours sped by quickly as i wandered around the tables like a ghost. the skies darkened and i knew i had no proper attire but i just persisted on floating about.

hours before the event, i haven't collected my shirt nor have i completed other things i was supposed to do before.
mike just took up your time at 12:30 pm

Tuesday, December 06, 2005
i think i can honestly say that i know orchard road inside out now. after all that horrendous walking for days on end, and almost ending up with nothing, town seems much more familiar. but familiarity really breeds contempt in this case.

hmm. need to delete old photos in camera. charge batteries and get extra new spare ones. and figure out a plan of action for afterProm. don't wanna be cinderfella.

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i got my own ATM card today. a bit slow, i know. too lazy to get one earlier on. but at a good time nevertheless. if i'd gotten it any earlier i'd probably wipe out my account in a matter of days. but since i won't even have the chance to spend and i'll be earning something, it shouldn't be that bad since my account'll be replenished somewhat.

and it was quite stupid cos the teller asked me to enter my PIN number into the thingum today. and i was like "huh?! aren't you going to give it to me?!" i thought they assigned some random 6-digit number, turns out you concoct your own on the spot. goodness, the things i do. everyday i'm beginning to feel more and more like a ditz facing city life. just like Margery, the titular Country Wife. but i have a nice swanky blue card! so i'm not complaining. HIGHLY convenient.

and heard on the bus the other day..

"she threatened to cut my allowance.. and i said you give me ten dollars i'll just buy cigarettes.. wah she damn unreasonable.. yakyak"

i hope my mom heard all that. then she'd be thankful that she has a son like me. despite our differences and occasional verbal or physical skirmishes, i'm far less troublesome. comparing oneself with shit always works wonders for the ego.
mike just took up your time at 11:56 pm


i am a spoilt brat when it comes to shopping. of course it wouldn't have happened without kayhian's good graces. THANKS for the reccomendation!

fuck prom, fuck shopping, and fuck extremely large caucasian cuttings.

right now, i'm in the state of mind where i feel like doing something extremely nasty to orchard road. but i shan't say it here, since you know. big brother is watching.
mike just took up your time at 12:08 am

Sunday, December 04, 2005
edit: they DID play hung up. i just wasn't there by the time the playlist got to it. oh well. next time, then. and randomly, the chinablack logo reminds me of hullett house, what with the chinese character for black being black in colour and all.

wellwellwell.

it came eventually. my first clubbing experience! omg i sound like such a dork. it was much better than i expected it to be, although it wasn't that great since i'm not buddybuddy with majority of the folks there. i can understand why some people would do this every week, it's just not really my thing though. too smoky, and too much a strain on the pocket. uhm.. and didn't really like the music tonight. would have loved some variation from hiphop/RnB (like hungup HELLO, but that's not part of the stated genre so oh well.) but it was still good. saw some old friends from RI like frank, my namesake (heh) and caleb. oh and i finally got to see kaihui after such a long time, albeit at such a strange location. thanks yiggy/weixian/whoever.

highlights:
- dancing, or at least trying to is quite fun.
- hot lesbian liplock action
- fatwomanthing jiggling and jiving on the whatever you callit.
- grinding against someone *smirk*
- E Y E C A N D Y

i can't help this, but HAHA at eugene for getting bounced for attire. saw it coming in the morning already. well you got your wish of not paying the midnight surcharge! =)

i think deb would be highly amused, especially since i was supposed to lose my clubbing virginity with her. =P

ugh my head is throbbing, and my clothes smell of smoke. i don't feel sick anymore though. things to do things to do! haven't gotten prom clothing, nor have i cleared out my room or gotten at least 4 badges in Pokemon. still have about 6 episodes of QAF to go argh only 4 more days to finish it all! gotta catch'em all! goodnight.

i wish we could still talk..
mike just took up your time at 2:40 am

Friday, December 02, 2005
was in town yesterday for awhile, after the "class" lunch.

i'm bored of this whole prom shtick, searching for something nice to wear. since the odds are great that someone will wear the same thing as you. (although no one did for grad nite at RI...) it's like why bother. and i guess it doesn't really matter that much for boys. i would suppose it does for girls since the chances are infinitesimal. therefore finding someone with identical outfits would make it that much more devastating. so maybe i should just settle on one of those nice shirts at Zara or FCUK.

in any case. wasn't that inspired until i was on the bus home and brian called me. i think i have some idea what to get now. not sure if it'll work out though.

and if you thought the heartland malls or Fareast were the best places to find bengs and lians and stuff. you'd be surprised. Plaza Singapura was absolutely CRAWLING with them. i even saw this adoloscent gang. the leader was probably 13,14 max. it was just so weird looking at them. and i think i stared at them a bit too much. even if things are small, in large numbers they're scary. think locust swarms. and besides i'm not that tall myself. so it was quite intimidating, whoops.

kids these days. much more precocious than we were.
mike just took up your time at 3:38 pm

it's such a shame for us to part_

Sixireon aparna benchen benny bernard bernice brian calista camy candy claudia deborah eugene fairuz hadri hongmun huimin jonfoo jonng joshua kensim liyana lynette lynn markvoon matthew maxine melissa nicholas peiyin reuben ronald samjo timng timwong vaish woochiao xiangwei yonghui

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