hollaback_
Saturday, October 29, 2005
at this point in time, it's only 10 days to Maths. so that means no more MSN, no more blogsurfing, no more watching Madonna's
Hung Up video (which is at once inspiring and disturbing, seeing a 47-year-old woman hump a boombox with carefree wild abandon), no more wasting time online taking pointless quizzes or looking at hodbods i'll never get, no more forum lurking which i love to do.
i'll probably come back sporadically. but not more. as much as i was all fatalistic and
heck if i flunk a few days ago, i realise that i DO care. after all, doesn't the old adage go "God only helps those that help themselves". i've got to at least attempt to try. not to say that i'm hoping for divine intervention to carry me through this period. i don't even deserve it. though i would appreciate if i get some undeserved Grace (which itself is a tautological error). but the truth of the matter is. i need to put in all the EFFORT i can put in (although i definitely wouldn't want the first 4 letters of that word) at this last lap. i think i was much more driven during the O Levels though. i remember finishing all the Physics and Chemistry MCQs, and working steadily to score high on Math papers (FYI i'm only averaging a B at this moment.) has 2 years really made life look so very pointless?
i already have enough regrets in this life. i don't need another.
it's time for Mister Miracle to conjure something out of his hat for the last time.
wake me up when november ends.
mike just took up your time at
3:12 am
Friday, October 28, 2005
Link: The Which Punctuation Mark Are You Test written by Gazda on Ok Cupid, home of the 32-Type Dating Test
quotation marks
You scored 53% Sociability and 76% Sophistication! |
| There is a lot more to you than meets the eye. You certainly get plenty of "action," but you'd be happier if those who lusted after you were more selective. You hate being used as a general intensifier; haven't these people ever heard of underlining? Italics? And yes, you remember the cruel words Mr. Joyce directed at you. But you let none of this get you down; those who abuse you are destined for a "special" reward, sooner or later. You feel particularly warm toward periods, commas, exclamation points, and question marks, and usually wish to have them next to you. Parenthesis can sometimes trouble you. |
 |
| You scored higher than 58% on Sociability |
| You scored higher than 95% on Sophistication |
mike just took up your time at
2:46 pm
Thursday, October 27, 2005
it's not like i haven't been dropping clues.
sometimes, i must feel like the dead poets that turn in their graves, appaled at the way people misinterpret their poetry. the painstakingly placed imagery, the carefully arranged wording. unnoticed. likewise, here.
i think i open myself up more than i would like to, and yet the deliberate exposing of vulnerability passes over heads as unintelligible private thought. truth of the matter is, just like poets, only we know what the true intention of our work is. (i do put in effort in my blogging.) everything that passes second, or third or even fourth and fifth hand {oh dear this reminds me of the dilution of ideas in
The Machine Stops by EM Forster [lit's the only subject where you still remember stuff even after graduation and exams (omg this is the first time i'm doing a 3-in-1 side comment, although the innermost one has no real point or use except to see if it can work) are over, when the certificates come back and are stored away under the dust] where great ideas were encouraged to be watered-down cos they suffered from the taint of personality, and only when they were disconnected from human factors were they worthy to be brought up, far removed from the context of their origins} through other people will inevitably lose its intent. but i guess the truth of the matter is. people DO construct their own knowledge differently, and everyone will have different interpretations of what you say and it's just impossible to stop that.
and maybe that's not so bad. it might seem horrific, at first, from a purist artist's standpoint. and i must disagree with
candy when she criticizes The Woman Warrior. i think MHK probably feels terrible (or maybe not) that everyone thinks she's a
siaodingdong (
brian's catchphrase). the power of the word is so important. it is The Sword to battle injustice, among other things. and if the spoken word is harder to grasp, then the written word behind the screen is much lighter and easier to wield, yet packs a greater punch in its longevity. it really is very dynamic and alive.
i have derailed from my main train of thought, which was that i think people misinterpret what i write, or that they totally miss something staring at them right in their faces. and i'm not sure which is worse. probably the former. at least with the latter there aren't WRONG notions. do realise, that everything, as frivolous as they may seem have a purpose. even this.
but no, this isn't
talk-story or one of those pre-fabricated woven tapestry of truth, half-truths, semi-truths etc. everything here is true. you just need to know what the red herrings are and ignore them. don't let them obfuscate. to prevent pitfall number 1 - misinterpretation. avoiding pitfall number 2 requires intellect which i'm not sure everyone who reads this has. and contextual knowledge of my life definitely won't hurt either. which is another reason why i think public blogging is quite dangerous. people often less important than they think they really are imagine everything to be about them. i guess sometimes i hide things too well. and to be Cryptic, one needs to be General. which invites a lot of problems.
mike just took up your time at
3:47 am
Tuesday, October 25, 2005
LESSTHAN3
LESSTHAN3
LESSTHAN3
if you were wondering what that was, it's <3.
omg i'm becoming so lame, just like someone. heh. must be that insidious influence.
in other news, i'm so fucking my A levels. and the scary thing is i don't think i really care that much. or maybe i do. but it's so tiring to care i've just given up. whatever happens, will.
-------
for the last time, i don't want to push back my enlistment date. stop advising me to attempt to try to enter later. firstly, i can't anyway, not enough time to train. secondly, it's just like Raffles all over again, physical style. entering the cream of the athletic crop, with Silver and Gold studs when your Silver is probably through cheating and bribing a bit, and quite tarnished. what's the point. gonna be at the bottom struggling all over again. and thirdly, i want to enter early to begin with.
don't ask my why.
then again, i might already have told you the reason. the REAL reason. =P
mike just took up your time at
1:29 am
Saturday, October 22, 2005
[ETA]
wedding dinner at shangri-la was good, loved the personalised service that the waiters gave. loved the wine too, now i don't feel like sleeping. and it's 4am while typing this. i'm torn regarding my feelings on this. on one hand it's always inspiring to see a couple get together and embark on a journey together, not to mention the good food. on the other hand, what you need to endure to enjoy the gourmet and the fuzzy feelings is a shitload of other rubbish.
the thing about family get-togethers and gatherings of such large proportions is the rehearsed and rehashed greetings, trite conversations and stiff smiles. and they'll somehow find a way to turn the heat on you. and it's ALWAYS about marriage. wedding dinner -
"oh, soon it'll be michael's turn right" chinese new year, during the angpow segment -
"wah soon you cannot collect hor, time to give back right" please lor, i haven't even had a relationship before. and for crying out loud i'm only 18. if you count in NS and the U the earliest i'll be working is when i'm almost in my mid-20s. it really wouldn't be that fast.
if ever. looking at the first sister (who isn't married, and wasn't allowed out on the whole groom-claiming-bride-by-doing-weird-forfeits-and-surrending-red-packets ritual thingum) it's kinda.. scary. to end up that way. my first aunt is a spinster too. but OH WELL maybe it's just a girl thing. so as a firstborn son i have nothing to worry about! -beams- i am a
Ho Chi Kuei! after all, "girls are maggots in the rice" hurhurhur i know my
Woman Warrior!
in line with all this romance talk, am totally enamoured with Billy Joel's
The Longest Time now. the a capella harmony is flawless, and it's the ultimate feel good song. although it's a bit too saccharine, looping it tends to get one loopy in love indulging in romantic fantasies. not that that's totally a bad thing. escapism is good, Virtual Reality (haha, eugene.) can be a very pleasant narcotic for the pains of life every now and then. just remember not to get addicted on it. if you understand the anaesthetic effect, you'll be safe. don't overdose, cos a numbing of sensations doesn't mean a detachment from the surroundings. rather, it's holding on to an acute understanding of that environment whilst being absolutely dumbed and dulled from experiencing the harshness of it.
[/ETA]
------
just got back from my mom's cousin's daughter's tea ceremony. or to put it more simply - my cousin (once removed? twice removed? is that the term for it?). almost wanted to take and post up a picture with the roasted pig, what with the pretty flower on its head, propped up and resting nicely on two juicy oranges. and continue on with some remarks, just to be outrageous since i know some people get really riled up about such stuff.. but you know, i don't want to be jailed. i am after all, of perfectly legal age.
it's quite freaky actually. can you imagine people taking photos of your naked body after your death as though you're some novelty? roasted, no less. i don't really understand the tradition of sending the pig's head and tail back to the groom's home. that one just baffles me. but i like the rest. the tea ceremony, the long noodles with sweet hard-boiled eggs in orange-red gravy. very symbolic. these chinese people are smart, yes they are.
and TALKING ABOUT photos of your naked body-
talk about disturbing.
anyway, back to the topic. i don't know why people choose ugly people to get married with. or uglier than them relatively, at least. although it doesn't apply in this case. why settle for something lower when one can get something better? it doesn't make sense on the basis of equity. and even on a practical standpoint, it's one huge question mark too. or more an exclamation mark. hell, both. the children are going to look terrible! i mean, in the wild, it's always survival of the fittest. mating calls, rituals etc. the female only mates with the best male there is out there.
so why should it be any different for humans? i guess it's that thing they call love. which transcends everything, looks and all. supposedly, anyway. i wouldn't know. i've never been in love before. which is a very annoying topic. overly done, and the only thing discussed at such occasions. especially now that one's of that kind of age.
need to study now, there's still a banquet later. will be back with more.
bernie says:
watching Lan Yu
bernie says:
sorry
m!ke it's amazing what a boy can do- says:
oh eugene wants to watch that.
bernie says:
koh bernard too (:
mike just took up your time at
2:48 pm
Thursday, October 20, 2005
Bears are strong and independent creatures who roam in the forest in se
arch of food. Bears are usually gentle, but anger one and be prepared for their full fury! You're tough -- a classic attribute of bears. Intelligent and resourceful, though lazy at times, you are a fascinating creature of the wild.
You were almost a: Duck or a
KittenYou are least like a: Chipmunk or a
SquirrelWhat Cute Animal Are You?one day my [insert blank here with almost any sensible noun you could think of, even though there's only one that would normally be used in this context] will come.
till then, i can only strive to make myself a better man.
i am the choochootrain who goes ithinkicanithinkicanithinki-
mike just took up your time at
3:47 am
Tuesday, October 18, 2005
AHHHHHHH
AHHHHHHH
AHHHHHHH
Oh. My. Yay.
this is just TOO much of a freaking coincidence!!! i could just DIE right now. especially after i was hoping for it! (well not really, i didn't think it might even be logically possible. what are the chances?) i mean, just that little thought of whether it might happen, based on circumstancial judgement and inference. and that little budding seed suddenly blossomed into a HUGE flower. (of course it'll wilt soon but whatever.) i wasn't even expecting it so this is just amazing. my instinct turned out to be right after all!
for once, i have good luck. and somewhere far away in me, a click sounds and the gears go into motion, extrapolating and postulating the ways in which things could turn out. of course there are some possible snares and stumbling blocks that i can foresee VERY clearly from 2 sources, but WHO cares!! if things actually DO fall the way that i hope they will, i will believe firmly and fatalistically in Fate forever. woohoooo!!
(i feel like some stupid frilly fangirl now. the heart loves it of course, but the mind loathes the inner revelry that's occuring. omg, i'm becoming just like.. hahazx~!)
every little thing that you say or doi'm hung up, i'm hung up on you.time goes by so slowly for those who waitno time to hesitatethose who run seem to have all the funi'm caught upi don't know what to do!---
and on a separate, 180-degree-shift note, very disappointed with you. i expected much more. or at least for you to just be sensible about things, which you clearly haven't. that was just childish, vindictive and mean-spirited through and through. not to mention cowardly. there's no justification for it at all. i've lost every last shred of respect i once had for you.
mike just took up your time at
5:17 pm
Monday, October 17, 2005
i really shouldn't have been surprised, although i was for a short while. it is a natural progression, after all, for someone like that to be as shameless as such. and in that cheeky, insolent way, too. still, FUCK YOU!!!
if someone murdered you, there would be no suspects cos everyone'd be one.
------
this sucks. everyone i know who's enlisting on the same day has a different timeslot from me. and there's one which looks particularly good, two good friends and the PMS! what more could anyone ask for? but as luck (or the lack of it) would have it, i'm in a different one, and i haven't heard of anyone who's entering with me. i just hope it won't end up as a rude shock. the possibility of.. omg! eep.
------
farewell assembly was really meh. i mean besides seeing people for possibly the last time (and someone's getting very hot lately! must be the ever-flawless skin tone.) and getting results which didn't even include predicted grades or a testimonial, it was pretty pointless. i don't know why people have illusions of grandeur, really. i guess you must either be jialun, or someone who found the love of your life in RJ to feel that way.
everything that could have turned out wrong, did. i can only hope it won't affect my future too much.
------
taken at VIDEOEZY. so britney's a classic now?
NO BROWSING!
mike just took up your time at
3:26 am
Friday, October 14, 2005
fuck.Good evening Mr QUIL.INDO MICHAEL ZHI CHENG.
Your enlistment is between December 2005 and May 2006. An enlistment notice will be sent to you two months before your enlistment date. For further enquiries, please call MINDEF eService Center at 1800-364 6333 or email to us at msc@miw.com.sg. tennis is without a doubt, the hottest sport on earth. wait, let me correct myself.
tennis PLAYERS, are without a doubt, the hottest sportsmen/sportswomen on earth. ok i have my personal reasons for saying so, but let's just take a look at the pros, shall we?
andy roddick. omg have you seen anyone look so good wearing flipflops? 
check out the unfortunate, or fortunate depending on who you are, nipplage on martina hinggis. and the tan and tone on those legs are to DIE for.
anna kournikova. hell, who cares what her name is when you can't even see the face. accidental exposure seems to be a problem that plagues only women, which i suppose is a good thing comparatively for men, who're less objectified.
the bryan twins, bob and mike. this pose is so gay.
and since there're two of them, it's only fitting to put two pictures up.
maria sharapova. ok i just like the energy of this picture. i don't know where the ball is though, looks like a highly awkward position to be in.
------
so after a year or so of having braces, i've finally taken them off! my ego has just gone up a few notches. it's true what they say about having good teeth and it making a good impression. i think after i get them bleached i might just become narcissistic! they look so good now omg and that's even before being SPARKLY. i think braces do make people look cute for awhile but then the novelty wears off, the plaque builds up, and they don't look that appealing anymore. so, yayness for taking them off.
before.
and after.ok looking at those pictures i think mouths alone are really disgusting, taken out of context. unless someone can prove me wrong haha. i think they generally look much better on an actual face in relation to eyes, nose, and ears. which is why we have a face! epiphany of the day. shit i am becoming the quintessential himbo. (:
------
No one's telling you how to live your life
But it's a setup until you're fed up
It's no good when you're misunderstood
i don't believe in posting lyrics just for the sake of them. one of the pitfalls of blogging that should be thoroughly avoided, because it makes for extremely boring reading, is that of devoting entire posts solely to the lyrics of a whole song. i mean wtf is the point of that? i might as well go to a lyrics site.
But why should I care
What the world thinks of me
Won't let a stranger
Give me a social disease
i think it makes much more sense when they're interspersed with a blogpost. (or maybe just cos that's my style haha) and sometimes also because the very poetic nature of it puts across what you want to say so much more succinctly. and with more impact. anyway, i really can't let you get me down, because you're really very inconsequential in my life, as much as you would like to think you make much of an impact. ok it's a LIE to say that anyone in your life makes no impact (besides maybe yongtaufoo aunty or uncle from the one-nine chinese mixed food stall, but even then their fluctuations in capricious pricing make for an impact on one's real disposable income, and i digress.) but in terms of weighting, you rank all the way down there. the amusing thing is right now i can imagine 2 people thinking that i'm talking about them, and only one would be right but they wouldn't be sure. omg i love these mindgames haha. ok that was so pointless.
CLOUDS IN MY COFFEE (ie annoyance.)
YOU'RE SO VAIN, YOU PROBABLY THINK THIS POST IS ABOUT YOU
I BETCHA THINK THIS POST IS ABOUT YOU
DON'T YOU DON'T YOU DON'T YOU
ok that was somewhat therapeutic.
mike just took up your time at
7:46 pm
Tuesday, October 11, 2005
i'm getting edgy about not receiving an enlistment letter yet. i'll probably be going in in december anyway, but i want to know when damnit. i mean i know technically they only need to give one month's notice but i want to know earlier so that i can enjoy my remaining few days of civilian life better, with the full knowledge of what's impending, rather than it being a murky future ahead.
oh and i love crystal jade. or any other good restaurant. dear Santa, if i become very good now and study really hard from now on till the 29 november, please give me higher metabolism on christmas day. i'm going to need it. thanks!
--------if i get 4As, i'll treat anyone who asks me for a treat! and now i'll just sit back and watch all the phantom readers come out of the woodwork.
(i wish.)
mike just took up your time at
9:24 pm
Sunday, October 09, 2005
thanks hor. and congratulations. cos i don't even know you and vice versa, but you've just totally destroyed all my self-confidence. almost every single shred of it. i hope you didn't do what i think you did to cause that. maybe it's just my hyperactive imagination messing with me. i... guess you must be pretty amazing to be able to kill my ego. yes, you are. that wasn't sarcastic, nor was it a back-handed compliment. you're just awesome. too awesome for me. you're an improvement (or regression in some cases) of your predecessor. you even KNOW each other. and of course, what you do is intensified. just one time. and wham. you've taken everything out of me. you've wracked and wrecked me with anticipation.
"a quicksilver character, cool and willful at one moment, utterly fragile the next",Sven Birkets
--------Deeper and deeper and deeper and deeperSweeter and sweeter and sweeter and sweeterI can't help falling in loveI fall deeper and deeper the further I goKisses sent from heaven aboveThey get sweeter and sweeter the more that I knowTime goes by so slowlyEvery little thing that you say or do I'm hung upI'm hung up on youWaiting for your call baby night and dayI'm fed upI'm tired of waiting on you
mike just took up your time at
2:30 am
Saturday, October 08, 2005
yesterday after returning from school, i saw some "on government service" marked letters on my desk. i was horrified, because i heard that sweesen has to enlist on the SECOND of december. i thought, "that's it. i'm finished." granted, he might have been arrowed early cos of his weight, but i always thought they put the obese people together with the NAPFA losers! ugh i don't want to suffer the same fate, 3 days after the end of exams, and wasted $88 wth.
with trepidation, i tore open the envelopes. to my pleasant delight, i saw this:
Dear Michael,Computerised Pilot Selection System (CPSS) TestCongratulations! We are please to inform you that you have passed the CPSS test. This means that you are a high potential to be a pilot. (And the rest is unimportant application stuff.)i mean, this is just hilarious. as you might remember, if you read my blog on a regular basis, a few entries ago i went for the test and it was an absolute disaster. which leads me on to several conclusions.
1. they have low standards.
2. there must be some kind of mistake.
3. everyone else who took the test then sucked more (which doesn't really apply because even if it was a bell-curve of sorts, they're not obliged to choose their pilots ASAP since they have all the time in the world over the next year or so to choose them)
4. i fluke well. in which case i can only hope that such dumb luck will be somehow bestowed to me for the As too.
eh but so stupid la, i think i only want to be a pilot if i'm under the MINDEF scholarship. might as well serve 2 bonds at the same time.
------
from deb:
the dangers of blog surfing include reading someone's blog, whom you don't know, excessively, to the point where you start thinking of the person as your friend. because you know so much about them. but when you stop yourself and take a look at it. it's all one sided. there isn't really a friendship. there's just voyeurism. it's a rather scary thought.i totally agree. i've fallen prey to that, actually. i read blogs so extensively that i feel like i know so much about some people. and i haven't even seen, or talked to them before in real life! the truth really hurts when you discover it's all just been a fantasy of friendship which exists only in your mind. oops, my bad for lowered defences. it's easy to mistake the conversational tone of a personal journal as all-encompassing.
adding on to that, i would say that it's all just an illusion of intimacy, emotionally attaching and investing ourselves to characters we read about. yes, that's right. they're characters and not people. i believe that most blogs out there are just a Show with created personalities. perhaps not created per se, but modified versions of self. to exaggerate/emphasize certain attributes, or downplay others.
which i suppose is actually a good thing. i wouldn't want any tom, dick, or harry to know exactly who i am.
mike just took up your time at
2:51 pm
Wednesday, October 05, 2005
alritey! i have finally drawn up my revision schedule. and just the sheer amount of work that needs to be done is enough to reduce anyone to tears. i've never done up an actual study plan before in my whole academic life, but what have i got to lose. i'm not used to it, but it's important i guess. this is going to be one helluva ride. it also means that i'll have to condition myself to come online less often since i cannot do without a few television shows, even though it involves the opportunity cost of meeting certain people on MSN. (swoon.) less blogsurfing (nothing to read anyway, everyone's mugging) and less forumhopping for me. i really hope i'll be disciplined enough, the schedule looks insane.
those who run seem to have all the fun.currently, i feel like brutally stabbing a number of people. violent, i know. but that's why fantasies exist. (no, they're not all erotic you know.) highly annoyed at their attitudes. but i stick with the platitudes, hypocritically uttering politically correct niceties, or keeping quiet when i don't feel that civil. the funny thing is, i'm crucifying them for the very same things that i would do and gladly indulge in if i were in their position.
-------
when i was young, we lived on the first floor in a HDB flat. being little ole' young bored me with nothing to do in the afternoon as a little kid of maybe 5 or 6, i would hang around the window and strike up conversations with the people that walked by. adults thought i was cute. i remember the classic story from my mom, where aunty dolly was so amazed at me that she gave me one of the chocolate eclairs from her shopping bag. she told my mother that she was impressed at my outspoken-ness, or something like that.
and now that i'm done with the whole "starting an essay with an anecdote" GP practice, i'll plunge into what i wanted to talk about. i think self-consciousness is a terrible disease that eats us up as we get older. a younger me had no qualms speaking to people i did not know at all. then midway through primary school i started getting very self-aware, for goodness knows what reason. so much so that it hindered me, i would suppose. i don't know what it was. insecurity about my looks, perhaps? i don't know. i became the introvert that i am. and today, i balk at the thought of talking to strangers.
thank goodness for the Internet then. when i first started using it, i was really into the whole thing. i added people on MSN, ICQ, chatted people up if i wanted to know them. i was quite foolhardy comparatively. but now it seems that the fear of rejection, such a human trait, has seeped into the online existence. (they could never get rid of the
imponderable bloom, could they?) even talking to someone without all the physical discomfort has become tiresome. what if they block me? what if they're laughing at me behind that screen? what if my words are being copy-pasted to someone else? what if (worst case) they think i'm trying to
jio them when i just want to know them as a friend? what if?
after all that rambling, my point is this. even with technological aid, i'm still so damned fucking shy. as we get older we become more reserved, more set in our ways. and maybe that's why old people are all so crabby. i think people are more likely to make new friends when they're younger too. because our world view is not yet fully developed, we are more tolerant and open of things different from ourselves.
i don't want to be old, not because of the physicalities (ok maybe a bit la.) but because i'll be some annoying bugger withdrawn into myself.
mike just took up your time at
11:58 pm
Monday, October 03, 2005
after i leave school, i think i'll probably try my hand at everything. without all the pressure of studying (of which i don't really succumb to, merely niggling at the back of my mind) it would be much easier and more convenient. although i could only really do so on weekends after booking out. (hurrah! i'm going to be a MAN. WOARGGH.)
so anyway, why bother trying to be a jack of all trades? today my mother asked me if i wanted the TIME magazines that i'd been collecting in a stack (of what? bonfire hazard clump?) anymore, cos apparently the mission trip people were leaving soon, and they wanted donations etc. i'm more than happy to give away things that i'm not using (and never will) and are in good condition, even if not for the sole purpose of being charitable, since it frees up space in the junkyard called my room that i probably sleep in only half the time.
but of course i don't want it to be a total waste, so i started ripping open some of the pristinely wrapped copies to scour for interesting articles. suffice to say, some of them were really boring (read: anything to do with politics. i'm honestly pretty apathetic about it and i'll probably just automatically vote for PAP in the future.) and some were really intriguing, like how our brains are only really fully developed at about age 25 thereabouts.
what really struck me though was some issue that featured 20 asians under 40 who've done something spectacular with their lives, even before hitting middle age. truly amazing, that. makes me wonder what i want to do. the more i think about it, the more i think maybe i'm not suited to studying. i got by earlier on with some sort of innate intelligence, but at higher levels of learning, discipline is the key and it's something i'm sorely lacking.
so hopefully by testing out every damn thing there is to do out there (from ice-skating to cooking) i'll eventually come across something that i'm good at, and take the world by storm. there's only one real ambition i have, and that i think everyone should have (but that's just a value judgement of mine), which is to do something to impact the world before they die.
and you sure as hell ain't gonna do that if you're not good at anything. or you could always be highly scandalous, though that's cheating. all you need to do is post naked pictures of yourself. but that's SO sarongpartygirl, ecks. we need people who can do something truly amazing.
and i hope i can be one of those people, someday.
mike just took up your time at
2:25 am
Saturday, October 01, 2005
prelims have proven only one thing to me. that i can maintain a doubling of workload with the same standard. unfortunately that standard wasn't very high to begin with. up to you how you wanna read that. with only about 37 days left, i'm not even sure if the time i have left is enough to set things right. which leads me on the train of thought to - if i really am going to fail, maybe i should start making some alternative plans for the future.
math and econs were at the same time, dismally disappointing yet extremely expected. i'd hoped for at least one grade higher for both subjects, but didn't turn out that way. which is frustrating because i'm doing better for MCQ now. GP was a huge relief, especially with regard to my essay, which i blogged about a couple of entries earlier. histP2 wasn't good, but it was much better than what i expected and i'm really lucky to get that, whilst histP3 was more annoying cos i think i definitely should have gotten a grade higher for it (which also would have pulled up my overall grade by one grade). lit's fine, the scripts i've gotten back average a near A, so far so good but those were for my better texts and i didn't fully complete 2 out of the 5 that i haven't gotten back yet, so i doubt i can push past the A barrier.
ugh, the thing with subjective marking is that sometimes you get lucky with randomness, and sometimes you don't. if the strict teachers mark your lousy scripts and the more lenient ones mark your
good relatively better ones, you might just end up with a decent grade after everything averages out. however if the opposite happens, you're pretty screwed. i think that happened to me quite a bit this time. (and here comes all the typical self-consolatory justification) i'm not saying which subjects, that would make it obvious who i'm referring to and i don't want to be charged or suspended under sedition, libel, or whatever other ridiculous (and arbitrary when applied to the blogosphere) law jargon that money-minded me hopes to be spouting in a few years time.
or maybe that's all just self-delusional drivel.
-----
mm what you say?
oh that you only meant well
well of course you did.mm what you say?
mm that it's all for the bestof course it is.mm what you say?
that it's just what we needyou decided this.imogen heap,
hide and seek
mike just took up your time at
3:34 pm
andy roddick. omg have you seen anyone look so good wearing flipflops?