hollaback_
Tuesday, May 31, 2005
i can't stand idiots who walk right into your path when you're at the mrt rushing for time. people who expect you to move aside for them and walk straight into you knowingly. try that on the road, bitches! i mean, understandably (since it has happened to me before) it's really dumb when both people keep sidestepping each other. but c'mon. a little basic courtesy.
anyway. just made a really stupid mistake yesterday. getting dangerously close to repeating history and becoming a living example of the adage that "we never learn from our mistakes." shall not expound more.
am very pleased to see that channel5 did not censor out the "andrew just told me he thinks he might be gay" bit in desperate housewives. then again, i think they were forced to because it wouldn't make sense at all to just brusquely chop off that last little bit and have bree storm in and rex stare at her and then peugeot commercial. (speaking of which, i preferred the desert one where they fried the eggs on the car. the new one about shame is just huh-inducing.) it would have been a bigger travesty not to include the camp hennesy bit at all. so ah well. guess they had to make some sacrifices. shall have to get the DVD to see how this alternative, so to speak, storyline develops.
and. i also learnt never to drink oil. rather disastrous and unpretty consequences that haunt you. especially when you drink coffee the next morning with creamy fresh milk. yurgh!
ooh. i was also quoted in bold on digital life last tuesday! haha. it was in this article on famous local bloggers, and i had this semi-snipe at xiaxue, etc. depending on the way you read it. hrrm didn't really like the way i was quoted i sounded like some idiot in it, i feel. haha. ("in a sense"? what on earth possessed me to use that phrase as though it was the new "basically" that rafflesians so love to use)
"Bloggers are real-life examples of people who've made it big, from zero to hero in a sense. They were nobodies and got big entirely through their blogs." - Michael Q.uilindo, 18, on why it's natural for popular bloggers to be idolised.hohoho maybe she'll read it and blog about it and bitch about me and my counter will explode with numbers. (and so will my tagboard with blind devotees sucked into her maelstrom whirlpool of i am xiaxue hear me roar cos i'm all that with my self-obsession and narcissism and bitchiness. ah, another similarity with her besides my obsession with photoshopping pictures of self. which is about all there is, especially the disparity in visitor figures.)
oh well - also had a very rude shock when i tried out a whole, full SAT practice test. looks like i really underestimated it and overestimated myself. crap, there's only a few more days to go and i doubt i can cram that much stuff in. i listened to people who aced it and got scores over 1500, forgetting to take into account that they were geniuses with mental faculties much more developed than my own. ah well. shall be happy with results about 1450. urgh and that's not even including the stupid new-fangled essay. the sample essays scoring 6 are so pompous and.. ugh! interestingly, i scored higher for the math section than the critical reading section.
clearleh, my england is not that powerderful as i thot it waz. anyway. is sitting on the fence ever the best position? what an interesting question. was tempted to do that for the commontest, but the potential ambiguity and convolutedness of arguments that threatened to confuse deterred me from picking it up. but now that i think about it, it really isn't that hard. the people who came up with the simplistic argument that the question is a paradox, and that if one were to answer yes he would be contradicting himself since by that unwavering affirmation he'd not be sitting on the fence and agreeing with the question, were wrong.
you see, the key lies in the word "ever". "ever" is not "forever", "ever" doesn't imply that it is the be all and end all, but rather that such a possibility even exists to begin with. so if and when there is just one instance that sitting on the fence is the best position, then i guess the answer to this would be a resounding yes. quite a simple question to answer!
that said, how can sitting on the fence even be desirable? consider the negative implications of having Bush-esque bullies telling you that you are "either with us, or against us". or metaphorically, having a painful ass when your conscience pricks you for not taking a firm stand. you also can't hide behind anything and are the easiest target for attacks. right smack in the middle of the fray and conflict. and sitting high up there. oh hohoho. you're finished, babe.
however, as pompous-6-upon-6-mark scoring bitch in SAT sample essay said, looking at MY personal life we can see yada yada yada.. it would seem that sitting on the fence has its benefits here. in the bigger picture, i'm sitting firmly on the fence. with both my feet firmly planted on either side. i have 2 choices to make. and unlike robert frost's assertions, way does not really lead onto way, but rather way leads on to room. and you can just as easily walk in and out of the 2 rooms presented to you. either way, you'd have plenty of company. albeit one being severely less populated. everyday, i hop, skip, and jump into either of these rooms either in my interactions with people or in my furtive thoughts from fertile imagination. these dalliances happen all the time. and really, no one censures me because i am like kevin bacon in
hollow man when i do that. if i were transparent in my actions and not literally to people- oh how they'd hate me. for how could anyone get the best out of both worlds, having their cake and eating it, as well as everyone else's cake?
in the smaller picture, and in a not so general but rather more focussed and specific sense, i also have 2 very clear choices to make. reminiscent of myself about 3 years ago. but well i guess this time the fence is much lower. both sides can see each other, i have to bend my legs because it's that low. and it helps me to make the decision of which room to enter, for the time being. when one side pulls me over that is when it all begins. but they've got to muster enough strength, both sides are very attractive indeed. no fence really needed here. sitting on the fence is fine cos it's almost not there to begin with!
i guess this is where it matters. how high the fence is. if it's low you can easily get on and get off. so it doesn't really make a difference. or matter. if it's a high fence. you're best off sitting on the fence for as long as you can. you don't want to plunge irreversibly back to certain death. once you're on one side you can never get to the other even if you wanted to.
to end off this really long post - daisy was quite the success it didn't appear to be at the start of it all. turnout was fine in the end, acting was
topping, everyone thought the set was
capital, and programmes was very much well-received, although total donations were
up a gum tree, (which mrs butler thought was a good thing hoho) at a paltry grandtotal of $209.15. which is about a fifth of the $1000 we put into the printing. i was rather pissed off at the cheapo singaporean nature shining in all its ugly glory when i had this group of 4 juvenile boys coming to the counter and asking for 4 booklets after putting a $2 note on the table. hey, i know the sign said 50cent minimum donation but- grr. these are the pennypinchers who'll be the future leaders of our amazing country. now i know why we have CPF. ah well. not my concern anyway, monetary-wise. as long as everyone appreciated the effort put into it. all in all, a very big
jubilate! for everyone. i've learnt to be appreciative of the importance of behindthescenes work, after being extensively immersed in it. and getting to know more people better was a plus point as well. guess dick, daniel, douglas and duncan will be proud of daisy. but as for d... not really. sigh.
(i really like this picture)
very suggestive. maxine as the dominatrix and jo being the. uh. incongruous treasurer. haha.
mike just took up your time at
11:13 pm
Sunday, May 29, 2005
seriously, i think it's amazing that one can flirt with 2 people at the same time, via 2 different mediums. i've outdone myself this time.
more on daisy later.
mike just took up your time at
2:43 am
Tuesday, May 24, 2005
quote of the day:
ms tan, in response to brian's presentation of some essay question that none of us knew how to do because we (smartly) avoided it for the essay exercise.ms tan: brian that's such a general point.
brian: well this is the general paper.
ok it doesn't sound as funny when typed out but it was really wth-funny when we all first heard it.
haha and shirin is the first person i've come across that actually WANTS to borrow
madonna's american life from me which is amazing considering that it was considered a flop on many fronts. commercially, artistically, etc. haha, but i love it! interesting, i would never have thought i'd find someone else who wants it.
mmm. watched jazz concert in school today and it was pretty nice.. for more reasons than one.
and that laugh that wrinkles your nosetouches my foolish heart
mike just took up your time at
11:59 pm
Monday, May 23, 2005
we moved in the sets today, and it looks fabulous! broom closet door straight out of hansel and gretel. delicious wood panelling that looks like yummy cadbury chocolate bars. board of honours that has my name somewhat on it, albeit in the female variation because grangewood never accepted boys into her doors. a whole library full of anachronistic books like
kama sutra and
fish stew hohoho. and stairs and platforms! that bring to mind kinderland and playhouses. now all that's missing is just a slide..
and here comes an ultimate example of loserism: having to meet someone at orchard who'd be late, so deciding kill time you fall asleep from bishan hoping to wake up when the train turns back around again after marina bay. surprise surprise! you arise only at yio chu kang, and because evanescence started blaring on your ipod.
mike just took up your time at
11:16 pm
Sunday, May 22, 2005
[note: thank goodness for the recover post function, i managed to retrieve half of my post which got killed because of stupid IE]
i feel guilty for not blogging.
it's just that i haven't been in the whole extravagant exhibitionistic everyone-come-look-at-me mood lately. especially with the amount of stuff rolling in. maths tutorials snowballing down on me. essay questions and points fallowing in my mind as new ones drop in, nothing growing on the blank paper. piles of books waiting to be read and completed whilst digesting the craft at the same time - not an easy feat when you're trying to plow through them. SATs at the back of my mind nagging away and i haven't even gotten myself acquainted with the format or even done a single practise test yet. my future looming ahead of me at a dangerously exhilarating speed. i think i should just crash and burn. and go up in a blaze of glory.
anyway- happier things aside. i'm pretty glad the "texting" from mrsB is going to slow down in its velocity. seriously, she's triggerhappy with those smses. i'm happy that programme is looking pretty nice, quite as i expected it to turn out. chockful of pretty pictures, lots of talking and talking inside, pretty good for reading, yeah! worth your monehs! price still undetermined but it will be affordable, buy it at
daisy pulls it off this friday/saturday 7pm at the PAC, RJC! quite hard to set a price though, since demand for programmes are uber-elastic. and it's not like it's in joint demand with tickets. we're gonna make a loss if we sell it too cheap, but too expensive no one will buy! how, how. hah. selling at a lower price makes less money but because revenue is P X Q, if we make up for the lesser price with greater quantities sold to make up the difference, we'd do better. i just hope i'm making sense at this hour (sounds like someone, eh.) oh well what am i doing musing aloud marketing strategies here. although mrs tan would be proud of me revising econs and applying it to real life here. hope it's correct.
what else what else? oh, emceed for harmoc concert. haha and mr wong said i was a natural. hmm, quite a lowkey affair which was fine by me, i don't think i was exceptionally good. but heck. a debut experience. cynthia as my co-emcee was pretty good, i think we did a fine job for our first times. haha. we were basically crapping our way through and improvising on stage. but it was all good fun. nice to receive flowers too for our minimal effort.
CashonDelivery was different from last year, in so many ways. more slapstick, funnier, more guys, amazing energy and dare i say it a better programme booklet than ours? i feel so insecure for daisy after watching it (And i'm not even acting!) but all these things aren't really important actually. the company was just different. the people who were there last year.. weren't this year. and vice versa actually. things are changing, i guess. not that i can help it.. but. i don't know. well actually i could. but that takes up too much effort. and i'm past really bothering. you always said that human relationships were a two-way-thing. and that we should work on it instead of just talking about it. i don't see it, i don't see that at all.
ayy. i used to like
britney's
breathe on me but i skip it on the ipod the moment i hear the synthesizer-like sounds that remind me of some nintendo game. and why? because i just don't like the lyrics. anymore. too cloying.
today, during tuition. i suddenly realised that i missed ghim moh. the murtabak. the chinchow and the chweekuei. (hochikuei! haha.) the johnson duck rice. and hollandV and the long walk there. and the little hill for red house. i miss that quaint heartlander feeling of the neighbourhood. sure, bishan is heartland too, but it's more upmarket. you don't see condos or shopping malls with apple centres in l'il ole ghim moh lane do you? that whole feeling of being plugged into the very live beating heart of singapore. ahh nevermind me, it's just me getting sentimental again.
beware the unreliable narrator, as mr mac says.
and my tuition teacher (the new one, not the idiot. and he's not exactly new either since he taught me during Os as well) says that i'm "not as ambitious as last time". now what does that mean? and then my mother commented that i'm "not hungry for success" that ain't good. maybe i'm just not showing it. that's much better than thinking that it's true. what a horrible thought it'd be if it was.
i really like
alphaville's forever young. maybe that'll be a post for another day, when i dissect the lyrics like a PC paper. talking about PC, i wonder what mrbooth thinks of my pseudo sonnet, which actually sounds like a modern day mutation of frost's
home burial, inflected with shades of carol ann duffy. odd combination really, but that was brian's observation not mine. haha.
-insert: maxine didn't believe my surname was qu.ilindo! hilarious.
i'm running out of things to say. quite sad for a self-professed opinion-machine. and someone who used to blog pertinent entries. i guess i said everything i had to say already. in that case, i've not grown. not developed new experiences and new thoughts and feelings. i'm still the same old as before. if i had new epiphanies they'd make their way here some way or another. or well i guess i just took too long to blog and they all dissipated. poof. but well. at least i'm keeping the faith for a better time. and some people just well. didn't. muahahahahaha. all the better for me.
do you really want to live forever?i want to be forever young.
mike just took up your time at
11:37 pm
Wednesday, May 18, 2005
sometimes i wonder why i do all this. why i subject myself to so much crap.
and then i realise that, after it all. everything will be fine.
it will all pay off, somehow.
---
utter annoyance increasingly directed towards more and more people. and knowing how poor i am at suppressing and concealing vibes, i can't help it if i make more and more enemies. but whatever, really.
ithinkicanithinkicanithinkicanithinkican...
...not.
SO MANY THINGS TO TALK ABOUT BUT CAN'T TALK ABOUT IT NOW.
i wish
you would just drop dead now, seriously. callous, maybe. but who gives a.
mike just took up your time at
4:23 am
Monday, May 09, 2005
i see my life flashing before me. it's amazing how much fun i've had that the past few months have just flown by. never thought i could actually enjoy JC life, or some semblance of it. of course, the richness of eyecandy material the j1 batch has to offer did some huge wonders. anyway, CT had a talk with me today. looks like it's time to step things up. been playing the fool too much, much too long. got to prove my worth. if daisy can pull it off, so can i.
anyway. i really don't know why i'm on this when i have a million and one other better things to do. more pertinent things. like my discrete random variables tutorial, or the creative sonnet exercise which got me excited when it was first brought up but unfortunately, i am now feeling devoid of all inspiration, or the programme which is probably only about 60% completed by now.
recent developments (recent being the past 3 months or so) prove the adage that
nothing is impossible (i refuse to bow down to syntactical marketing campaigns). i'm really surprised at the way alot of things have turned out. quite annoying, really. things that just leave you in totally new situations. and i'm beginning to realise that maybe i'm not that adept at adaptation as i would have liked to think i am.
life has this way of being cruel in an ironic way. i mean i guess you could laugh at it la. i laugh. i laugh at it, because what other better choice is there? better to think of everything as funny in an omg-are-you-for-real way rather than mope about it all day long. i mean i do. but only once in awhile. because it gets very draggy.
think of it this way. mommy and daddy always told you cakes were good for you. but after awhile you got bored of them. so you decided that you preferred pudding. after all, comparatively pudding is hassle-free. what's so hard about it. just put the satchel of pudding powder into the mould, add water, chill, you're done. (it's probably not that simple, but still.) no fuss. fast and quick. easy for all. and it's firm and nice. delicious.
and then they caught you and told you it was bad for your health. so you went back to cakes. problem is, you've never actually eaten a cake before. it was just something you really savoured after when you were a little kid, and chucked it aside for the (comparatively) less nutritious and wholesome pudding later on. and now you're back in the kitchen. you actually want cakes again now. and now when you finally think you might actually get to taste what one is like... wheeeeeeee! you turn on the oven and turn up the heat, hoping to bake a nice sinfully good cake.
and then you realise you don't have the recipe. and the fridge has no cake ingredients at all. you just see rows and rows of those ugly, green pudding satchels. and you realise. you can't have your cake and eat it after all..
.
.
meanwhile, today's quote of the day:
kevin, who was asking mr booth what a fugue was-
"what's a foogoo?"
mike just took up your time at
11:38 pm
Friday, May 06, 2005
WOW.
programme for daisy is turning out mighty fine, i get tingles just looking at in on the computer screen. it is yummillicious. bernice is a fountain of creative genius. who knew designing could be so much fun? loads of photos, etc. buy, buy! even if you don't come for the play, still can buy!
meanwhile, quote of the day, courtesy of vaish:
"michael is so macho!"(or something to that effect)
youcount on yearbook so far: 2
mike just took up your time at
2:20 am
Tuesday, May 03, 2005
omg, i just had
blueberry morning cereal and i'm really grossed out. it tastes really disgusting, especially the psuedo shrivelled up blueberries they randomly toss into the box. i should have just waited for ntuc to restock
banana nut crunch instead of being impatient for postcereal.
***
anyway. i can't help but reflect on all the past mistakes over the years. and after all this time- all i can say is that the biggest mistake, the only one that i can ever, truly. regret, was you. (and oh please don't jump to conclusions about whatever i write. not everything's about you. said person probably isn't even ever going to see this. you're so vain, i betcha think this post is about you. you're so v- i should stop channeling carly simon.)i wanna screw you (up) so bad.it's like this little cancer that builds in me. i think about what happened. and then it builds up. it festers, like a freaking disease. again, and again. the more i think the worse it gets. and the worse it gets the more i get annoyed with your visage, your presence, your very being. i can't get it out of my system. it's not just that, but a combination, a culmination of other things that happened as well. once was one thing. but then it had to come with so many other things. and a sudden realisation. i've been such a fool, really. i was played. and i hate doing this kind of cryptic-slash-angsty posting. but really. shame on you. shame on you, and go to hell. you're halfway there already anyway. ***it's really funny. because you think you've seen something that you like. and then you get all excited. but then recurring circumstances restrict you. 23.99999- it happened first around this time last year. and then again now. right up to the very kind, the very mould. PYTGSE. ceteris paribus certainly applied for Taste. i could probably write a bildungsroman about my life, and include all the echoing of scenes, whatever. the only problem is, there is no development for the protagonist here. the story repeats itself, we all feel a faint sense of deja vu, and then we realise that there were only 2 credits for this stupid game. game over, you lost. now get the hell out of the arcade and go play some games that are more suited your age. like poker in the upcoming casino.
of course, i could always make sure that it happens right this time. even without the help of a game guide/manual. i know where the danger zones are. i know where the trap is. i know where the big bad boss is going to shoot, at the exact location. i know how to vanquish him, i think. i will not make the same mistakes that i made before, and i will be like super mario who rescues princess whats-her-face. except you're not a whats-her-face. you're.. an out-of-reach.
what's the point of all that game-strategizing when ultimately if you don't have certain power-ups you're never going to reach certain levels? i don't know the passwords either. neither do i know the cheatcode, or the hack. and even if i did, there'd be no fun in conquering the game on my own. zc was right, i should probably aim within my means. which also means playing games of my calibre.
it's discouraging to see the long-reaching effects of old mistakes. the ripple effect. you drop the pebble in the water and the ripples keep reaching out, further and further and further. the whole lake feels it. your whole fecking life feels it. time as a continuum is affected. once something happens, it cannot be undone. and it has repercussions that will come with implications, and subsequently complications. even if you want to keep the water still again, it's quite impossible. one unprudent mistake and you can never rebound again. that's the way things work in an unforgiving society. our society. how it works in the education system. not like i'm complaining, i've made most of the "right" choices when it comes to academics. but there are many other things that can't be changed. maybe if i just changed lakes. that might work.
all i wanted was to live it out normally. with a little bit of this, and a little bit of that (i never understood what the hell michelle branch was singing with santana, inane generic lyrics like that) guess it's too late for that now huh. i really, really ruined it all. it was all in my hands, and now those almost-solid dreams are but dust that've mostly been blown away in the winds of time. and there's only myself to blame. goodnight.
mike just took up your time at
1:05 am
Sunday, May 01, 2005
the other day, i woke up with my right toe bleeding. i know i didn't knock into anything, it's not that kind of bump-your-toenail into something injury anyway. it was the part which bends immediately after your toenail. there was a huge cut but the skin still remaining and flapping. (reminds me of the atavistic fold in TWW) either there's a sleep-walking failed-murderer in my family, or a cockroach or some other large insect bit me in my sleep. how gross!
mmm. my dentist says that i'm one of his fastest patients, and that i may even be able to take out my braces next month! that's damn fast la, 10 months only. not even a year.. some people whom i haven't met all this while wouldn't even know that i had them on! i guess i'll be a bit sad to take it off cos i like the look they give me. but then again i guess the aim was to have straighter and more beautiful teeth. and i won't miss the extra flossing and gargling with oralB mouthwash, as well as the continual scraping the metal does against the sides of my mouth, making it have perpetual cuts and openings.
i went for the expo book warehouse sale yesterday with my brother, and i bought 10 books for $46. some of them were really on a momentary whim, but i guess this is what retail therapy feels like. i feel EMPOWERED!
1.
harry potter and the order of the phoenix, jk rowling [$7] (this was because my mom said that my brother had to get something of about $10)
2.
the powerbook, jeanette winterson
3.
troubles - j.g. farrell (from which mrbooth gave us a PC lesson last year! i guess if something can be used for Alevel PC, it should be fine.)
4.
catch-22 - joseph heller
[2/3/4 was bought in a 3 for $10 bargain]
5.
stamboul train - graham greene [$5]
6.
when the sleeper wakes - h.g. wells [$5]
7.
25th hour - david benioff [$5] (wanna watch the movie!)
8.
hard times - charles dickens [$4]
9.
mind reading - how we learn to love and lie [$5] (i think the first part of the title is a misnomer for a book on basic psychology)
10.
talking cock - a celebration of man and his manhood [$5] (this was just so funny i couldn't resist it. a look at the phallus and its place in today's society and culture!)
anyway, there was this fag and his annoying faghag. then again, they looked similar so maybe they're brother and sister. i have nothing against the man actually, so fag wasn't used derogatarily. it's the woman who pissed me off to no end, squealing loudly about wanting to be literary when she saw J.winterson books. and squealing again with her ugly butch voice when her male companion informed her about spotting 2 copies of "the blind assasin" in one corner of the hall. and she went, "aiya, nevermind. it takes a cultured person to enjoy and spot such books".
wtf. die, bitch. cultured... and snooty. yes.
warrrgh. at the supermarket with mom. and i remembered a random conversation with candy about eating koko crunch during kindergarten times. so i got my mom to buy a box! and wow. wow. WOW. haha. that cute koala bear and that great chocalatey taste! and. and. pouring milk in. seeing the tough bits soften. and the colouring dissolve slightly into the milk, making it off-white with little brown bits, YUM. hmmm. i even took some photos of the koko crunch! hahaha. but stupid cam's not connecting properly and the computer is acting up.. so i guess i won't upload them. maybe later. eating my lovely koko crunch now, thinking about days when i was probably the smartest in the whole school, aside from not being able to write my chinese name except in hanyu pinyin.
mike just took up your time at
1:34 am
