hollaback_
Tuesday, August 09, 2005
today was national day. and like every other national day, i'm at home. i've never gone for a parade before, and even though tampines heartlands spinoff was the closest i could come to it, i still decided not to. and no, preview for all p5 kids doesn't count either.
so, i watched the parade on tv whilst semi-studying. the strong feelings of patriotism i used to have - eagerly wanting to hang out the flag once august rolled along; standing at attention whenever the national anthem started its familiar register; singing heartily to national day songs - waned over the years as i grew up. something seems to have been lost. maybe it's the fact that i no longer live in a HDB flat but a condo, and hence we are no longer obliged to hang up the flag. or perhaps it's because my voice has broken and i no longer sound good when i try to sing.
maybe i'm just excusing my own misbehaviour. there's no real excuse to be reading a book whilst tens of thousands (and more) of singaporeans are singing their hearts out to
majulah singapura. with the tv on and blaring, no less. getting up only when fireworks lit up the sky at 2 distinct locations from the unobstructed view of the windows.
it's tempting to dislike singapore. to be cynical, to be jaded of it. that's especially so when many of my consorts hate it with a vengeance, for whatever reason. be it the education system, the not-exactly-inclusiveness of society (as much as it's claimed to be open), the dreaded NS or even the lack of prospects. the bombardment everyday that "singapore sucks" and how much better it would be to go overseas. i am surrounded by people who hope to get a PES low enough so that their NS experience would be easier yet high enough such that their prospects would not be ruined. i don't know what to make of this, really.
because like it or not, this is our home. you're probably not going to like me sounding like a social studies textbook, but it's true. i do acknowledge that it's rather ridiculous to be so intensely proud of just merely 40 years of nationhood, but consider for a moment the quality and not the quantity of these 4 decades. we've accomplished much more than many countries can even hope to achieve, and that many others could only attain in a much longer period of time. it is, grudingly, something to be proud of. where else can you walk the streets without fear of being bombed (this assertion must always be in KeepInView status though.) or being a victim of a racist mob? maybe some people dislike this safety. there's such a thing as being too safe. but it's something i think we should be grateful for. contrary to what people think, i think this is a great place to raise children.
on an aside, i think things like scholarships are useful to keep the bright ones at bay and prevent them from flying the coop, and when they come back and return to work for governmental organisations they'll inevitably be hooked (my dad remarked that it was strange that only those, and not private corporations were featured for scholarship day). the rest have no choice but to stay here. what a smart way to retain everyone. ingenious, though others would call it crafty.
i rarely feel this much for the country. which is why national day parades are important, to remind the populace of what the country's done to benefit them. with a (hopefully) more mature perspective at 18 than perhaps 15, i must say that being a young singaporean these days is a tricky situation. it's even thornier when you are in a liberal faculty in a top college (whose students are arguably more enlightened, which is also a euphemism for being more prone to subversion, since they think so much) and to be patriotic is to draw suspicion; to be nonchalant or even opposing is the norm, sometimes just for the sake of it.
it angers me when i see people jump on the bandwagon mindlessly, then. it's fine to see things differently, but do be prepared to back them up with proper empirical evidence. if not, it's better to just be thankful of what the government has given and stop fantasizing that it'd be any better overseas being an immigrant or a second-class citizen. i think running away after almost 2 decades of provision smacks of ungratefulness. i guess that's what being a quitter means. reparation candy, anyone?
i think there are some really silly things that the government is persisting with, but that cannot negate the wealth of good that they've established, and their track record over the years. we wouldn't be where we are today without it, definitely. and just because they might be slower to respond to global paradigm shifts for example, doesn't mean they wouldn't further down the road. i might just be idealistic here, but i guess if this is where you're born in, nowhere else could be just as good (or not as bad if you prefer to view things negatively). there are things that might make one unhappy here, but to just attempt to run away and be escapist doesn't make things any better. stay and fight then, for what you believe in - if you're not getting what you want here.
that said, i do wish to go abroad for a couple of years and then come home. *prays that some ministry scholarship board blogsurfs and grants me an honorary scholarship or study grant*
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i told my parents a condensed version of what i just said a few days ago, and my father remarked that i was PAP-material. i just laughed, but it'd be interesting if those were prophetic words. how ironic that i was in my virginal white school uniform then.
happy birthday, singapore.
mike just took up your time at
10:49 pm
th time!