hollaback_
Monday, August 29, 2005
now i know what my weird dream meant. the dream that i had a couple of days back, that had half the GP paper covered in questions that went "with reference to -obscure singaporean trivia(l) historical tidbit that my brain probably conjured whilst REM was underway-, discuss yada yada pseudo important local hotspot issue yada yada". but that was fine, really. what took the cake was question 11/12, i don't know which but it was at the bottom of the paper. it looked curious, because it was divided into 2 parts, part A worth [10] and part B worth [15], which went something like "discuss the problems of statistics and something". and i attempted it. of course the details of what i actually wrote don't register in my subconscious, since i woke up soon after wondering (i) since when did GP essays come in 2 parts (ii) with half the total marks of a normal GP essay, no less and (iii) FREAKING HELL ECONS HAS INFILTRATED GP EEEK!!
that was all in the dream of course. lo and behold, today i get a stupid question on "blogging and podcasting have little use beyond allowing the individual to indulge in narcissistic exhibitionism" or something along those lines. clever me decides that even though i have no idea WTF podcasting is, since i know a hell lot of empirical evidence on blogs, i might as well do the question, promptly generalising the whole affair as "online journaling". ok actually i don't exactly see much significance there besides me effectively doing only half a question and hence i should get at least my 15/25 just like in the dream. ok whatever. that doesn't make sense but oh gosh. what's more, i should be shot for not knowing what podcasting (what an idiotic sounding term) is since i own an ipod. matin said that i obviously haven't been updating my itunes (which is right) since if i had there would be a fucking podcast option under the library button and oh well-
so there's any hope of distinction down the drain.
and pc was infinitely worse, dozing off for half the time and feeling absolutely unconfident about drama, randomly throwing in phrases and words like "black comedy", "abusive" and "antagonistic" - or maybe i didn't, and merely imagined that i had in that semi-dream state between lucidity and lunacy. then again, not like the poetry comparison was any better, i merely identified the first as literal and the second as allegorical.. and then got stuck.
note to self : the best way to prepare for exams isn't to cram, or take tonics. it all boils down to having a good night's sleep. i fully intend to follow this for all subsequent papers.
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anyway, i am
thisclose to going over the edge. it's insane, the chunks of exams that we have to go through. 3hr3hr3hrHEY! they should have prepared us for this much earlier, only history and math came close to emulating the
shiong nature of our papers. and now suddenly everything has exploded in duration. after just 2 papers (or 6 hours) i feel totally burnt out. i don't know if i can survive the prelims, let alone the As. maybe i'm just not cut out for this, and that i'm deluding myself. it's not too late to drop out, or like drop a subject or something. hopefully today was just a bad day. in any case - need to work on stamina.
it doesn't help either having endless mountains of loose sheets of paper all over the house. OMFG i swear if you wanted to make me cry all you'd need to do would be to lock me up in a freaking filing cabinet room and then accidentally tip open all the drawers. i was all ready to add to the foul gases that the seventh month believers and columbarium produce with a huge bonfire just now. this is why my new best friend is Mr Giant Stapler! CHARR. CHARR. CHARR. and all those annoying sheaves automatically combine to become one big l'il neat pile. i love that! who cares if a page of frost moves on to one on othello. as long as there is ORDER. i cannot believe in that order in chaos bullshit anymore; there is only order in.. orderly multi-coloured transparent management files and humongous folders.
this morning, i had this sudden wish that i was taking bio/chem/math/lit instead of what i'm taking now. which is the next best thing to bio/econs/math/lit (that i considered as an alternative to a full-blown arts combination) which eva hor told me didn't exist because bio had to be done with chem or something, way back in sec4 when the rj peeps dropped by for their recruitment spiel. come to think of it, chem vs econs sounds much tastier too. at least i'd have a better chance at getting an A, according to the statistics. i miss bio, i really do.
oh well - tomorrow will be better, as i always try deceiving myself.
mike just took up your time at
11:19 pm
th time!