hollaback_
Thursday, April 21, 2005
hello.
this is my new blog, and (obviously) my first post here.
i chose this url because it puns on wisteria lane, home of my most favourite drama serial right now, and it being "his", or rather.. mine. kinda like MJ's HIStory, you know? "attempt to connect his glorious past to a dodgy present", reflected here somewhat. perhaps not glorious, but relatively speaking it sure was. and i guess it's also rather fitting cos i tend to get rather hysterical sometimes. so, share and join in the madness, everyone!
i'll miss my old abode-cum-userhandle on the WWW.
duntellme. conscious change, starting with the hotmail, which i chucked aside a few weeks ago in favour of gmail. and now this. i guess i didn't really like the allusions my parents made to my blog. like my mom would mention offhand that i should not blog so much, and my dad knew my previous email. it doesn't take a genius to figure out (albeit by luckyguess) that they might be related, especially since my parents love gossiping about me. hence, with my new email and blog address distinctly different now, i don't foresee such problems of them reading. not that i do have any issues with them reading, i just don't think they'd really like what they see.
besides, it's time to move on. although i guess you can't really please people.
duntellme was catchy, pleasing to the ear. easy to remember, and people seemed to like it. this shift was rather unpopular, they went, "just keep your old one, it's fine". it was actually a concerted effort to move away from it with gmail although i could continue on.
duntellme, essentially- was picked up because it was my most favourite song -ever- back in the day, helped by the fact that it was a madonna single as well. having avril sing a song of the same title a few years later really depreciated the value in that moniker, and made it easy to drop. i also got a bit sick of it, i guess.
email's accompanied me since earlysec2, right to early-midj2. blogging came on later in early sec4, although it died on me and i had to restart again in the middle of the year, which caused me distress at the prospect of losing precious thoughts and memories. thankfully i managed to retrieve them. what this means is that it's all really an important part of my experiences in my formative adoloscent/teenage years, my green salad days, especially for someone who spends so much time online. but sometimes, we can't hold on to the things of old. sometimes we need to know when to let go, and this is one of those times. too much emotional attachment. it's not really denial of the past, but rather acknowledgement in a detached way. to repeatedly ruminate over the past can be quite disastrous.
duntellme saw me through the gloomy outlook of SARS (when my dalliance with blogspot first began), my struggles with faith(s), my annoyance with my prelim results, my disappointment at the way certain things in ri had transpired and subsequently concluded, the strangely relaxed interim period between prelims and Os, the rush of the Olevel experience, the days leading up to rjc which were filled with possibilities and so much fun, orientation and ghim moh, failing to make it into council, failing to make it into humans, failing to make it into Oteam, failing to make any of my afterOlevel dreams come true, my anxiety over not qualifying for an Spaper, being thankful about the presence of certain people in my life - the occasional spark of genuine human contact. in general, nitpickings with life. most of my entries were edited over and over again, carefully crafted to be (hopefully) good pieces of writing that shrouded alot of my uberpersonal thoughts and bitchings (still ever the exhibitionist, i am) wrapped in images and symbolism. and yet they were interspersed with entries entertaining enough to sustain the loyal readers. thank you for that.
however it is all over now,
duntellme has ceased to exist, except for my yahoo account. i think my style of writing's never really changed, besides getting abit more sophisticated with each entry. but my mentality sure has. i'll treasure each and every single one of those entries and mails recieved. hopefully i'll make this a good one.
it's been about a year since i failed to make it, when everything started crashing down. i think that period of time, i've never been more bitter. about that, and every other thing that came my way. and now that you know, a cycle's almost over. this is just the right time to adjust and shift. hopefully this'll see us with better days.
on that note, i think i should dispense with the overwhelmingly sombre tone here, too grave and inauspicious for a first post. it's also highly depressing what with the already black background. i've restarted my counter also. it's nice to start again, on such a petite little virtual domicile.
mike just took up your time at
7:24 pm
th time!